Chicago-Day Four

So because I opened my big mouth and mentioned I was taking the kids to downtown Chicago during our visit here. I had to make good on that-even though I wanted to just sit by the pool all day while sipping strawberry daiquiris and judging my boy's cannon ball dives off the high dive. So today we took the train to downtown and arrived in Union Station. The boys were impressed- and Jack mentioned it reminded him of Harry Potter (#2 I think)....next a cab ride and the Chicago Institute of Art. Now this is a pretty 'serious' art museum....but I thought my boys could handle it. So we saw the sculpture gallery that looked like this...

And then instinctively- my boys did this (with no prompting from me, since we were all being as quiet as a mouse- using our best 'Museum Manners')....needless to say we had a great time!

We laughed a lot (Tucker really could not get over all the 'butts everywhere- oh 7 yr old humor!).....but I was thrilled to hear things like "now this is the kinda art I like'...and 'mom can we Google this guy Edward Hopper?'. We saw lots of famous works that the kids recognized instantly...and were generally excited about it. They both agreed that seeing these works in person was so totally different than in a book.

"Sunday in the Park" was a big favorite of Tucker. He stood in front of it a long time- and pointed things out to all of us. "Mom! It is made up of DOTS mom! Just Dots!" (those clever impressionists ya know). We then walked Michigan Ave. Watched part of a parade, sat in Millennium park and managed to get back to the train station without any drama. On the train ride home the boys were fighting over the little souvenir book of 19th and 20th century art....fighting over it like it was a Gameboy or something! This was a good day folks....really. good.

This ad has unbelievable copy...

"How soon is too soon? Not soon enough. Laboratory tests over the last few years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during that early formative period have a much higher chance of gaining acceptance and 'fitting in' during those awkward pre-teen and teen years. So do yourself a favor. Do your child a favor. Start them on a strict regimen of sodas and other carbonated beverages right now, for a lifetime of guaranteed happiness"

For the record, drinking soda as a toddler did not help Little Billy in anyway help as a teen. He was the teen with the rotting teeth, weight problem and sallow skin-which didn't really help his 'fitting in'....and how about the 'strict regimen'..."Billy you get in here this minute and drink your coke!!!".....the fine print says "Boosts personality!", um yeah if bouncing off the walls is a 'personality'.

Lycra waves the white flag!

Yesterday I visited Six Flags Great America here in Chicago (in case you aren't following my every move and keeping track I am visiting family this week in the Windy City).....and well, I am really not sure what it is about every single amusement park I visit- but people really have a tendency to push their Lycra to the limit at these places. Hence exhibit A to the right. I am thinking there should be a BMI requirement before allowing people to purchase clothing 3 sizes too small for them. Oh- and this was not even close to the worst offender...there were whole families that looked like they were about to bust out of their clothes. Throw in a ride that gets you all wet and it made for killer people watching. I am no super model- and should lose about 20 lbs (but I can't for some reason!)...but I would rather die than have a ROLL of FAT showing even thru my shirt.....hey, maybe these folks are more confident with their bodies than me? Maybe I am the one with the problem???

Check out silly Jack....is this not hysterical ???? They had these funny "Starbuck enjoyment pose" signs all over the park. LOTS of cross marketing there...SO not Disney.....in case you want more...don't worry there is video coming folks!

And bloggy buddies...I am trying to find time to read all your fabulous posts...promise!

Friendship is not a skill I posses naturally. I have had to work to understand the concept and purpose of friendship. Here is a little bit about that journey….

As a young child I would study those ‘best friends’ on the playground to see how they interacted and why they chose each other. How is it that Sally and Lorie are BFF's? Why? It was a great mystery to me. Nevertheless-I drudged on thru my adolescence working at making and more importantly KEEPING friends. I had to learn the importance of being honest and loyal the hard way. And I discovered early on- people like to be friends with someone who is upbeat and can make them laugh. So I collected friends like a ferocious hunter. I wasn't picky in the least- I was looking for a good audience and someone to hang out with at lunch and the occasional weekend party. For all intensive purposes- I was well liked and just on the fringes of being called ‘popular’ (so hard to determine your true status in these matters). I wanted to be liked by everyone. I was a cross-pollinator; being involved in drama, dance, art, college prep classes and cheerleading. I had friends in the goth group, the punk group, the Asian honors kids, the jocks and the band geeks. I seemed to have friends everywhere I turned. Or at least I KNEW tons of people- whether they earned the bonefied friend status is not certain. Not until my adulthood did I realize the value in QUALITY over quantity. And it was a welcome relief. To finally be able to let go of the ever present anxiety of ‘not being liked’. Who cares if someone I met didn't like me?…who cares! I would say with reckless abandon....and now I can say that I have just a few really good friends. Friends who totally ‘get me’, and still like me. I take none of them for granted- because now I do understand the point of having friends. They take this journey with me..validating that my life experiences are actually happening. They share in my frustrations, my joys and my triumphs. They share my life and I share in theirs. Recently- for reasons I can not explain I have had the opportunity to meet several new people with real ‘friend potential’ (you know who you are!)…..and I am simply thrilled about this. I will never get over the fact that someone WANTS to spend time with me…I am honored everytime. So I may not be an expert at this friend thing, but I think I might be getting better.

Photo note: Digital Photo-Composition "Friends" 2007 by Marcy Massura. Go ahead and use- as long as you give me a little credit! Thanks....

Okay so day one down of my Chicago trip...Before swimming at the C.C. pool, we walked to the Ty Warner park (yes, that Ty Warner of the Beanie Baby craze). It is an amazing park- open to the public with a water splash area for little ones and wonderful flowers and trails. And this clock- which says "time for fun!"...When we lived here years ago- Jack was hit in the head with a golf club by a playmate when he was only 2. When we arrived at the ER Jack was given a large, soft vintage style teddy bear. Jack named him Charlie and he is never far apart form him even 7 years later. I called to thank the hospital the next day and I learned this teddy was donated by the Ty Warner company. Turns out they donate hundreds of thousands of stuffed animals to hospitals and charities all over the world every year. Now isn't that wonderful?.....Okay back to my vacation- because it is my 'Time for Fun'!

I have arrived in Chicago!

This ad talks about how travelling by plane is the 'easiest way to travel with children!'....um, yeah right. Asking rambunctious excited boys to sit in a chair for 5 hours, after waiting at the airport for 2 hours to clear security....yeah, that is SO darn easy! I think the easiest way to travel with children is...um...well, I can't think of any. But we are here- safe and sound...now I have to start thinking about the flight home in 10 days!

Is it me or do those kids look a little 'puffy' from the flight? Maybe they should cut down on their sodium...

Lights! Camera! Action!

Yesterday I had a 'playdate' with Suz from Emphasis Mine. And naturally after crafts and swimming we decided to make a movie....isn't that how all your playdates go? Wanna see it? click here .....and be kind in your comments. If I had better lighting I would have looked thinner/younger/cuter....but the darn lighting union wouldn't work on a kid film without combat pay.

Well, folks....today I am leaving to go to Chicago to spend a a little over a week with family. We lived in Chicago (Hinsdale) for 3 years when my kids were young- and I miss it dearly. I really love to return....PLUS I will be spending almost every day lounging at the pool (Butterfield Country Club-oooo fancy!)....so it is always a wonderful time! And yes they serve frozen daiquiris poolside....can you feel me smiling already???

I will do my very best to keep posting over the week......and my gracious mother-in-law GOT wireless internet for us! Ya, I married into a good family folks! More to come later....

And now over to Marcy....

Wanted you all to know that I will soon becoming to a TV near you! That's right ladies and gentlemen- soon you will be able to look up from your morning coffee, bagel, mimosa or whatever and see ME on your TV screen. I have been asked to be a guest on Channel 6 KDOC's Daybreak news program on June 26th and on July 2nd. I will be chatting about summer crafts and activities for kids and also travel with children. For those of you that know me in real life (this Internet thing is not real life- it is like an alter reality I believe) you can attest I have subjected your children to a craft during your visits (oh how I love new victims, er students) and you then also know I have done A LOT of travel with kids. I am feeling fairly qualified....and totally unprepared all at once. I need to bring a few 'show and tell' items....but I am leaving for vacation tomorrow-so it will have to all wait until I return. The program is from 6am to 8am so either fire up your Tivo or get ready to wake up early if you want to catch me and my VitaMeataVegamin moment (hope it goes better than THAT!)....Well, friends now I have to go run 10 miles on the treadmill.......... I have to lose 25lbs by June 26th. I wish I was kidding.

Do you have any ideas for me to use in my segments? Or maybe any tips to remember while on camera? Leave me a comment and let me know!!!

Watch out world-here she comes!

This weekend my insanely fabulous and naturally glamorous niece Manda, graduated from Orange Lutheran High School. It is difficult to write this post without sounding lame and beyond biased...but I am going to try. Manda is by far the most grounded, loving and joyful soul I have ever known. She is one of the 'good kids'. She is empathetic and patient, sarcastic (my influence I hope) and sincere. She is smart, clever and darn cute too. I am always so flattered when we are together and people comment on how we have similar mannerisms- I know we have the same sense of humor for certain! I could go on and on...but let me just say that she is truly one of my most favorite people on the planet. She will be beginning college in the Fall and lucky for the world- she is planning on becoming a teacher. So if you are very very lucky- in about 4 years, your son or daughter might come home from school one day singing the praises of their new teacher, Ms. Manda.

My taste of a Jubilee...

As you all know by now (because I can't shut up about it) my boys 'graduated' from school and are out for the summer. The school scheduled their 'promotions' (sounds like they get a raise as well-but alas they do not) at different times on the same day. 9:00 Jack, and 12:00 Tucker....so each boy chose a place to 'celebrate' afterwards. Jack chose Bagel Me which is across the street from his school and is kinda like Happy Day's Arnold's for his classmates. Tucker wanted to go to Polly's Pies (a chain coffee shop place). Boy was he thrilled when we saw 'mocktails' on a new menu. Although there is always a voice in my head saying 'aren't mocktails kinda like candy cigarettes? Is this the best parenting move to encourage?'.......naturally I ignored the voice in my head and told Tucker to order what ever he wanted from the waitress. "A Berry Brazzle Jubilee and a corndog please!" After all - he is officially a 2nd grader now...time to get the party started don't ya think?

FYI: Tuck insisted it was the best tasting drink ever. I tried it- and had to work really hard to muster a 'mmm ya that IS good'......it was no Jubilee folks. It wasn't even Berry Brazzle- county fair. But HE loved it and that was all that matters.

Introducing: Inky-Me

Well folks here it is. My first Illustration for my blog done around midnight one evening... and yet.....it is a total waste because I can not upload the image any larger on Blogger! I suppose there is way to do it....but I can't figure it out yet. (hey if you know leave me a comment and let me in on the secret!) So I will have re-create the text besides the lovely sketch of "Inky-Me"......(FYI- I would NEVER wear a pink shirt with green shorts in real life. But Inky-Me loves it)

I'm A Blogger....R You?

• Dry, Blurry Eyes from too much screen time.
• Need a root touch up/haircut
• spaced out look...planning next blog post while listening to others
• Tense shoulders from lack of comments
• Pathetic self promoting tee
• Extra lbs from avoiding the gym
• sore back from HOURS hunched over keyboard
• Notebook in pocket for all those ideas...
• phone in hand to Twitter night and day
• possible 'Blogger Butt"
• Nail polish chipped at tips from constant typing
• Carpal Tunnel developing...going to buy gel wrist pad next week
• legs: white from not seeing daylight in months
• Comfort shoes (slippers, Ughs, whatever....)

Happy to e-mail image to any fellow bloggers out there!

My happy breaking heart....

With every transition and change of season- my heart leaps with joy and breaks in pain....this is a mother's burden. They grow up, and grow away....and part of me cries for the little boys they were....and part of me smiles for the men they will too soon become. Here are a few fave photos to share....do you know I have 37,000 photos on my hard drive? Most of them are of my boys...ya' I think I love them.....oh BOY! do I ever. I love them till it hurts..........all you moms out there know exactly what I mean...................

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No more teachers! No more books!

Today is the last day of School! (for my kids anyway...)

When I was a kid (a long, long time ago) on the last day of school, some kids (not this kid-but OTHER kids- those risky ones) would take their old gym shoes and tie the laces together and throw them over the telephone wires on the way home from school (yes, back then we were allowed to walk to school-shocking I know).....and there the shoes would dangle for all the world to see - forever. Seemed like they never came down. I remember gazing out the back of our wood panelled station wagon on the way to the Alpha Beta grocery store and see the same pairs of shoes, on the same wires - for years. Now most of the phone wires in the OC are buried underground, and most public schools don't even offer gym class (P.E. I mean)...so this whole bizarre tradition is disappearing. I was surprised to read online, that people have attributed this tradition to have other meanings...but I remember very clearly why we did it. We did it because it was funny. We did it because we knew would make the 'grown-ups' mad. And mainly we did it because - well, because-we could.

Married, Merger....same diff.

Don't do it for love. Don't do it for companionship. Don't do it for passion.....do it FOR THE MONEY.

Huh? Apparently I have been married for all the wrong reasons.....I never realized it was actually a business merger I was in and not a marriage. Marriage, Merger same diff. I guess.

Not that I am against promoting marriage. After all I want everyone to come over the dark side. Cuz you know how us married folks can't stand to know ANYONE who is not married. So all we do is talk about how great it is to be married. Could be because we are jealous ya know....anyway this Ad was created by Campaign for Children. Whaaa? Whoooo? Some obscure group working off $5.5 million in funding out of the state of Maryland. They have other slogan ads too; including the jewel "Marriage Works" along side another painfully happy couple. Oh they look so naive....'trust me honey one day you will be fighting over who gets this crappy wagon wheel coffee table' (equally obscure Harry met Sally quote for ya). Folks there is a lot I can say on this whole slogan thing....a whole lot....but others have already done it for me so perfectly, I say why bother? Click here for a well written and researched article on this organization and their goal to get our kids all married or sterile by the time they hit puberty. Did I mention this is STATE FUNDED? Can you feel my teeth clinching?

Bloggers Note: I love being married. Really, I am huge huge fan of the whole 'till death' thing....after all my til death is with Ed-my really tolerate of my blogging husbster.

Hey kid wanna beer?

New post over at the OC Register...."Wanna Beer? Bring a gift!"...please leave your comment, thoughts and insults over there...that way I look popular...and what girl doesn't want to at least LOOK popular?

UPDATE: Jack and his hair

Okay I have received lots of personal e-mails and even a little Twitter wanting to get an update on the Jack-Hair controversy. After sending my scathing (but truthfully acurate) e-mail I received one from the owner and principal from the school.

"Have Jack come see me first thing tomorrow. I want to review his hair"

So we woke early and slicked his hair until he looked like a cross between Max Headroom and Dracula. It was really an art form...I had to sorta sculpt his hair into position. Then I lacquered it down with hairspray. She took one look at him and all she said was "Oh my don't you look handsome! This is just fine for the rest of the year!"......so basically she totally and completely CAVED. The thing is- SHE is the one who said he needed the second cut in the first place! Couldn't she have just ignored it for one more week???? Oh the drama of elementary school......Today Jack went to school with his black high top converse shoes with his new PINK shoe laces (all the rage for 9 yr old boys right now-seriously) and he was stopped by a teacher who said they didn't comply with the dress code. I am thinking of dying his white dress shirt pink for the promotion/graduation ceremony on Thursday....ya know, and just claim 'laundry accident'. They should know not to mess with Mama Bear.....oh no they shouldn't....

VOTE for ME!

Can you all go vote for my baby photo of Tucker at the OC Register? It is some kind of cutest baby contest...and well, if they won't hire me to be a photog for them- then I am gonna just keep entering ever photo contest they have! Mucho thanks....click HERE. Look also for one called "Hannah"...that is my photo too of my beautiful niece....

Oh lookie here- ANOTHER mom website...but wait hold on- this one is kinda interesting...it asks all kinds of questions (gay marriage? biggest secret? what do you think of your in-laws?) and you can comment totally ANONOMOUSLY. Yup- here you can be really really honest.....not that I hold back on this blog! Fun to read answers too....makes you feel kinda...well, NORMAL! Check it out HERE.

Tag- I'm IT!!!!

I was tagged (by my friend at I love Retro Things) to do the following wacky thing. And I have to say the results made me smile...

Instructions: Take the book you are reading and turn to page 123. Post the 5th-8th sentences on the page....

The audience might have thought what I am thinking now: "Was that terrible or was that good?"Laughter in these poorly designed places rose a few feet into the air and then dissipated like steam, always giving me the feeling I was bombing. One night, from my dressing room, I saw a vision in white gliding down the hall- a tall, striking woman, moving like an apparition along the backstage corridor. When she turned the corner , she revealed an even indelible presence behind her.

This is from Born Standing Up by Steve Martin. Steve is my life-long love. I adore him. I could recite 'Steve Martin Live" performance word for word since I was about 12. I played that cassette (taken from my parents collection of course) over and over until finally it gave out. I now have a down loaded version on my ipod. I could go on an on....but I mean it when I say I LOVE this guy. He is the perfect embodiment of cerebral comedian with an absurd execution. And while this book was more gaurded than I would have liked (it says nothing about his personal life for the last 20 years at all)...it was still in intriguing read. So hey look at that- this little tag turned into a book review AND a love letter to Mr. Martin. Oh, yes I am a multitasker...

I am not gonna tag anyone special (don't want to stress you out) ...but if any of my fellow bloggers wanna try this- go for it!!!!

A friend of mine encouraged us to visit the Costco in Yorba Linda today to try a sample of a new product called "Fun Quenchers". My friend's company, OC Flavors, supplies flavors to them for their products and she asked us to help show our support. One sip and my kids were sold! These are low sugar, no artificial colors, non-staining flavored waters in 8 oz juice pouches. But the real glory of these guys? NO STRAW. They have this innovative pop top thingy.....which means my kids will never be sent to school again with a juice pouch and no straw attached! (yes, I know good mommies check these things before sending them off to school- but hey some mornings I am lucky to remember to pack lunch at all!). They were VERY affordable. We got home and the kids have had two each already! I will have to go back for more soon! Check out their website for more info and where to get....

We miss you Big Mac

On this day 4 years ago- I lost my dad, (well, I know where he IS...except he is dead...that is what I mean). People are often afraid to say the word DEAD when someone dies. They say 'passed on', 'has left us', 'is no longer with us' and of course 'we lost him'. I however, used the phrase 'he is dead' or 'my dad died' from the moment it happened. It has helped to force the reality of what had happened to stick with me. This was important since I would often be going thru my day afterwards and it would hit me like a ton of bricks. Like all of a sudden I was hearing the news for the first time. I mean, my brain knew...but my heart hadn't heard the news. So I would say it. 'My dad is dead, My dad is dead'....

My dad was far too great a man to even begin to describe here. Actually I could have a novel worth of words and it would not totally convey what an awesome kind of a guy he was. He was the guy you call at 4:00 in the morning when your car breaks down and he says 'sure I will be right there', He was the guy who answered a resounding 'phenomenal!' when asked how he was doing, he was the guy who was OC to the core and loved antiquing as much as he did working on cars in the garage. He was my first love, my first laugh, and eventually his death was the first time I thought I would not be able to go on in life. But I went on...and here I am. From the moment it happened- I knew my life would forever be the 'before' and then the 'after'. It is like a big black dividing line in my life.

Because people always wanna know- he died of Esophageal cancer after an 8 month fight...and I was honored to be with him till the end. I so totally wish he was here. But deep grief is the price we pay for true love. So I will always have a deep, hollow grief in my heart- because we had true love. I miss you dad. Man o man....do I miss you.

The Comedy Hunter

When flying I actually look forward to looking thru my personal copy of SkyMall magazine. Not for all the GREAT products inside- but for the comedy. I am the comedy hunter...like Indiana Jones- without the cool hat. Lets take a look at what I found on page 183...and later pulled a clear picture from the website...

"With his characteristically big feet, our over two-foot- tall Garden Yeti will have guests doing a double-take as they admire your creative gardening style! .............finely hand-painted for startling realism."

If you can get past the kind of person who would WANT a Big Foot replica in their yard...take a look at the ad copy. Okay folks- so this big foot is all of 2 FEET tall. So he is more like a Big Foot Dwarf....but that is okay because it is painted with 'startling realism'. Realisim? It is a mythical character people! And about as tall as a garden troll! Yeah- guests will be doing a double take alright- they will be looking for a way out of your yard. There is part of me that wants to get this- for the comedy sake. But I am afraid my nieghbors won't get the joke. He'd be fun to dress up for the holidays though- can't you see him with a pair of bunny ears?

Chicago Chicago....my kinda town!

Hey all- Well I made a whirlwind trip to Chicago over the last few days to photograph an amazing 8th grade graduation and banquet for 400 people! This may have been the largest event I have ever done (closest is a wedding for 300).....it was simply exhausting...I am still sore from lugging my 10lb camera with auxiliary flash back up around....but, I must confess I loved every minute of it. The kids were dressed to the nines, rivaling any prom attire I have seen recently. Of course a few of these 13 year old girls looked like they could walk into any bar and get served without being even carded...but it made for some great photos! The boys were harder to capture...they sorta moved away like a school of fish when I approached. They were all very polite and fun to be with...If you really have nothing to do...you can take a look at the photos here.

Happy Birthday Shannon!

Nope she is not a cover girl...I got all silly and made this magazine cover for her. Then I glued it to the front of a real magazine. I am a nut, I know.

Shannon is a real life great friend, physical therapist, wife and mother. She is busy- but always seems to make time for me. She knows how to make me laugh...and she really is one of the most positive thinking people I know. No one is more supportive...

So Happy Birthday my friend! (yes, I will buy coffee next Friday for posting a photo of you on the internet!) But I think you look great!

I am no Moses....

New to Mommy Blogging? Here is the unwritten (until now) set of commandments followed by nearly all bloggers of the genre. Thou shall be brutally honest- even at the risk of having to look like a bad mom. This is our purpose to help others feel like it is totally and completely normal to eat a Cheerio off the ground because it was easier than going to throw it away. Thou shall not post photos of girlfriends without their prior approval or veto-or at least total Photoshop rights. Thou shall not expect the husband to actually read the blog. And if he does stumble upon it occasionally-do not be surprised if he is not amused by the rant post discussing his snoring problem. Thou shall post often. Or make an attempt to post regularly least the readers move on to some other Mommy blogger who is funnier and perhaps more insightful (we are an insecure group) Thou shall link to other Mommy Bloggers to help further the camaraderie of the Momfia. Thou shall respect the tagging/challenge/photo dare by a fellow blogger. Least you lose your credibility and standing in said Momfia and/or M.O.B. Thou shall not write anything, about anybody if they would not say it to their face. Even if you are talking about someone famous- trust me on this you really have no idea who reads your blog, and no idea who you will meet later in life. Thou shall not embarrass our children- well not really really embarrass them. After all their teachers/friends/neighbors might be reading, and the way we bloggers advertise our sites constantly- they probably are. Thou shall not depend on comments to make or break your day. Lots of people read- and will never, ever post a comment. These are the same people who are afraid to use their credit card on line I believe. The Internet is scary-even I am afraid sometimes. Thou shall be brief. Try to fit posts into a paragraph…nobody wants to read a novel every time they get to a blog site. Of course this post is a perfect example of TOO LONG. Provided for you as an visual sample. No need to thank me. I am a giver. I am sure I have missed some- perhaps you can let me know what other commandments you follow…..

A Prom Story....

In honor of prom season- I bring you this tale of a prom night from 1970....

Julie was pretty surprised when Lounge asked her to prom. She knew had seen him at a few parties- and once in the parking lot after a football game he said 'hey what's up cheerleader chicks' as she walked by with her friends. She knew he was pretty popular with all the non-jock types at school. Could have been his killer Trans-Am with the T-tops or maybe his dreamy hair- but whatever it was...Julie liked Lounge. She was nervous on Prom night. Her mom made the dress and insisted on the little jacket so it wasn't too revealing. It took her forever to iron her hair straight that night. He was supposed to be there at 6:00- he came at 7:00. He kept his sunglasses on the whole time, and Julie's mother thought Lounge smelled funny. Not the smell of a cigarette...but something else. She asked him if he was wearing cologne. He wasn't. Lounge was a man of very few words. His real name was Greg- but no one ever called him that. They made it to prom that night- but didn't stay long. Lounge refused to dance, and said the whole thing was 'lame'. Julie ended up sitting with her friends from the yearbook committee, and Lounge went out front and drank Budweiser with his band friends. Julie saw Lounge at the reunion not long ago, he was divorced and mentioned something about 'being really into reptiles' as a hobby. He still smelled funny. And he was bald. But he still had the Trans Am....it wasn't as cool as it used to be....

Oh how things have changed...my fabulous

(and naturally glamorous) niece from prom 2008...

Rant of the Week: Stripper looking weather girls….

In case any of you out there are actually strippers I apologize;

You should never have to be compared to a weather girl.

On any number of channels here in the OC you will find the evening news weather girls that look –how to say this delicately…well, they look trashy. Oh- they are well groomed and clean enough…but good lord what is with the outfits? One in particular (I know you want me to name names- but I just can’t-but you can click here for curiosity) has the body of Barbie if Barbie had a boob-job to a DDD. She really looks top heavy and I fear she is going to fall into the green screen at any minute. And then to accentuate her upper figure she wears shiny satin tops almost everyday. Those boobs become sorta glowing orbs as she balances on her hooker pumps. Oh I wish I was making this up. I can see the interview process now, must have been like something out of Anchorman (Love Will Ferrell). “I see here you have no experience and are not a meteorologist, um…okay you are hired.” I know, I know- I can just change the channel. And I do. But the weather girl on the next channel is just as bad. Oh maybe she is brunette instead of blond, and she has a raspier voice….but basically she is the same. My other options are wait to get the weather from the insanely overweight and out of breath weatherman on the morning news. I can’t win. I have no idea what the weather will be today-so don’t ask.

Me and Wii....in the paper today!

Well- terribly embarassing photos of me made it into the online version of a story done for a Wii Fit review in the OC Register today. Click here to read and see my review (as well as fellow bloggers Suzanne and Jenny). If you want to read it old school- then check out the Life section of today's paper.....or you could use it to cut watermelon on...either way, up to you.

I am participating in a linky-blog party over at The Rose Room and was asked to show you all where the 'magic' happens...in other words my home office. This is one the first floor of my house and doubles as a guest room. That is not a headless, naked woman in the corner- it is my prized mannequin from many years past working in apparel. She has vintage pins and gloves resting on her. As well as hats I wear when I work out. I was also asked to share a few things about myself...

Relationship: Married for 10 years- and loving it

Children: 2 boys

Pets: 2 hamsters (named Pixel and Google)

Age: 37 *sigh* not happy about it either!

Star Sign: Sagittarius

Fave Food: oooo anything I don't have to cook! Okay Mexican or Italian

Fave Drink: Mojito....OR Absolute Currant and Cranberry....OR Stewart's Diet Orange soda

House Decor Style: Um, well transitional with vintage touches....and a slight influence of Pokemon cards and early Buzz Lightyear. ;)

Collections: Nothing firm. I love collecting the letter M for obvious reasons. And of course vintage ephemera....Oh- how I would collect it all if I could!

How Did You Get Into Blogging: I began leaving lots of comments on blogs like Emphasis Mine when it was suggested I do my own blog by a few people. One night at 4 in the morning when I couldn't sleep I created my blog. I have posted everyday since then (often more than once a day). My blog is my confessional, my soapbox and my joy. The fact that others enjoy peaking into my life and my distorted mind is simply thrilling to me!

One more...this is the left of my desk. Handmade 'cup' by my son for Mothers Day, a photo of my husband and a bulletin board full of tid-bits that probably tell alot about me!

I have a post titled "Sex and Bowling" over at the OC Register...

Click here to take you there.....hope you go- and if you like the post please click recommend or leave a comment so the editors can see I have readers!

Happy Birthday Mom!

I hope you have a great day.......

I love you....

Yoshinoya! (complete inside code....my mom and I are like that!)

Note: My mom says you were either an Elvis fan OR a Beattles fan.....she was an Elvis fan. Good choice Mom- he was a hunk....

Fun with Jack and Tucker (episode #4)

"Have you guys played with your poor forgotten hamsters lately boys?- go play with them and give them some love" I do this occasionally so that they will bring me the cute little guys and I would get to play with them too. They never brought me a hamster.....I was not alarmed until..... (one hour passes) "Mom come upstairs! We made something cool!"

Well folks- here it is...Hamy De La Sunflower Seed. Yes, folks my boys built a hamster resort/condo/gym. Steve Wynn watch out. Look close; Google is on the top floor and Pixel is on the bottom. And the boys later changed the name to the 24 Hour Hammie Gym....comedy.....Massura style.

Counting the days...

End of the school year- and I am thrilled. JUST THRILLED. Since I am a SWAT (or SAHM if you prefer), summer is really the season I get to shine. I plan all kinds of field trips for the three of us: Griffith Observatory, MOCA, and the beach. I plan play dates and squirt gun parties. I pass out lots of Popsicles and cookies. We make and edit movies just for fun. We do all kinds of clay projects. We paint and draw. And we frequently do a wood working project (last summer was a catapult I built with the boys). I get enthusiastic about collecting bugs and making makeshift habitats for them in shoe boxes. We swim at Grandma’s house for as long as we want and that is usually till sunset. Basically we hang out together. And I love it. No stress. No worries….and all fun. I never have to hear myself say things like “NO you can’t ride your skateboard you have homework!” or “NO you can not stay up to watch that- it is a school night”….nope I just get to hear myself say “YES-Sure we can all sleep in the family room and rent lots of movies to watch”, or even “YES, I will let you put whip cream on your waffles”. Of course it is a bit harder to get anything done around the house (cleaning when the boys are home is like walking UP a DOWN escalator)…and sometimes I yearn for the ability to go grocery shopping without having to say to explain the nutritional differences between apple candy and a real apple. But in general- I love summer with my kids. I love the luxury of just BEING with them. I want to soak them all up. I want to savor all of this time together- because whether I like it or not (and I do not like it) they are growing up and growing away. Before long I will be out of a job. And someday summer will come- and I will be able to think back on all these wonderful wacky summers we have together- and I will have lots of great memories to make me smile.

Introducing the Burka Fashionline 1969!

You can leave the house ladies and not have to do your hair or a full face of make up! Having a fat day? No problem..the comfort of the swing silhouette gives you the freedom to carry a few extra pounds and no one is the wiser! Of course people might think you are pregnant - so be sure to keep your hands close to your body...and carry a watch on a chain while you are at it. (not for any reason, just to distract and confuse people). This jacket does double duty as a diet aide...making snacking on the go impossible! When you purchase your new Burka Fashion piece you receive a free hand book titled 'Eye Blink Communication'. You will be blinking your way into the hearts of others and be the envy of the neighborhood in no time!

You think I am kidding right? Click here....

How NOT to get the principal to like you...

Well in the on going saga of the Private School uniform and hair dress code...Jack was asked to cut his hair AGAIN today. And there are 7 school days left for the year. I decided to inform them that Jack would not attend the last 7 days of classes. I was then told this would DRASTICALLY affect his grades since he would miss lots of "workbook assignements". I said- okay then he can do the assignments at home and I will turn them in each day. Then I was told that she could not allow the workbooks to go home!!! But because I want to share my diplomacy I am going to show you the last e-mail I sent the principal and teacher.....

What? I can not take the workbooks home? I paid $675 suplemental fee this year for books. Does this fee not cover the 'workbooks' as well? Are they not MY property? May I come in and make copies of the book pages? What would be done if a child was sick? What accommodations would be made then? Jack had his hair cut last week. They took an inch off of his hair. I have photos of him getting his hair cut! I am attaching the photos. (before/during and after for proof) I paid $40.00 for that haircut. I really feel this is excessive given that there are 7 days left of classes. If the pricipal feels Jack's hair should keep him from attending the remainder of the school year- then I will accept that. But that means he needs to have access to workbooks (I will pay for copies of all relevant pages-I will even pick up the work books and take them to be copied). What tests are to be given over the next 7 days of school which will effect his grades? Please be specific so I can asses the risk we face by pulling Jack from HOPE early. This is so unfortunate to have to end the year this way. Jack is a good kid and good student. He has near perfect attendance. He always complies with the uniform code. He has never gone to school one day in 2 years even without his belt! I have seen some pretty bad rule breakers at hope this year alone: kids with clothes WAY too small to look appropriate, shoes with holes or writing on them, kids wearing casual uniform on dress day, and kids wearing out of uniform jackets. Even kids that wore black shirts to the band concert when it was CLEAR they were to wear white! And as for hair- Jack's hair is appropriate, and current. It is not excessive and in no way is distracting to the other children. If Sally can wear a BOYS uniform to school with long hair everyday- then why can't Jack keep his hair a little longer than the others and be fashionable? We have loved our time at HOPE- and have been good parents volunteering and complying with every rule the school has....But Jack got braces and glasses this year- and he just wants to look like a normal southern California kid. And since he is such a good student- I will support that.

But what would you do if Jack was 'sick' for the remainder of the year?

I am DYING for a response to this one. Yeah I am gonna be REAL popular after this. I don't care...I feel like I have to do this. Am I insane? YUP. I know... But the real comedy of all of this? My husband supports me- and agrees (this is a rare thing folks)........

You really don't want to mess with us k? We ARE the PTA . We don't need your vote either. Trust me plenty of new parents think they can push us out- and we know that some people call us the "evil-three"....but we don't care. We control the fundraisers, ice-cream sales and the annual auction. We have the principal and school board in our pockets...that's the pockets of our fabulous cashmere sweaters. So you think your vote counts..but it doesn't. We control it all. And we look great while we do it....so don't mess with us. DON'T MESS WITH US. Unless you want to be at the end of the pick up line for the rest of the year....thaaaaat's right.

We control it ALL.

Stop calling me names people!!!

A note to the news people and clearly childless journalists of the world: I do not like the term “Stay At Home Mom” (SAHM). Even though I do not get paid for my ‘work’- I am rarely at home. I am volunteering at the kids school, planning school parties, assisting on field trips, taking kids and their friends to baseball practice and all the rest. I also do not like “Full Time Mom”…um, hello… from the day you give birth you are a “full time mom”…is there anyway to be a ‘part-time mom’? If so, and it comes with health insurance it might be a good gig for me. Somedays all moms wish we could do it 'part time' and just let the next shift clean up the vomit/diaper/dishes-but as far as I know there is no kid-share program in my county. I also find the term ‘Housewife’ objectionable. Am I married to the house? Am I the wife of the house? If so then I think I have the right to tell the ‘house’ to start picking up after itself. And then there is the IRS form favorite “homemaker”. It implies I actually make the home from the ground up. I am not Mrs. Pulte…I do not make homes. And don’t get me started on the term ‘soccer mom’. I don’t know how, but that term has such negative connotations…implying mini-vans, mom-sweats attire and caddy gossip sessions. So then what terms work for me? Which ones do I actually I prefer? Well, I am loving a new one SWAT (Smart Women with Available Time) to replace the afore mentioned SAHM. And as for the IRS…I am going to stick with the classic 'Domestic Manager'. Of course I am a member of the M.O.B. (mother of boys) as well as the OC MOMfia. And as for my kids? Well, they have called me The Queen Almighty on occasion….but I am just happy when they call me Mom. Unless it is more like MAAAAoooooOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!! Then I pretend I don’t hear them…because it either means they broke something or somebody hit someone somewhere and I am too busy 'making' my home and being married to the house to care.

(1970)

Oh my god. Seriously Oh MY GOD. Can you even believe this was FA-SHION-A-BLE? Not sure how to plaster your eyes with bright blue paint? That's okay- this ad came with instructions for the make-up impaired. And is it me or does this lady look like the next door nieghbor lady (Amanda Bearse) on 'Married with Children'? Except for her unfortunate uneven eyebrow problem and the bangs she clearly let her 3 year kid cut before the photo.

Just shoot me if this ever comes back in style...

Heavenly Hostess

Aprons...not just for grandma anymore! So while strolling the streets of my 'happy place' (Orange Circle)...I discovered a newer store "Heavenly Hostess". Their motto "The Most Glamorous Aprons in the World"....naturally I had to take a look! This is a horrible photo- but the best I could get thru the storefront window...these aprons are adorable-complete with giant bow ties in the back. The top part is sorta smocked and pleated...very boob enhancing if you as me! These are so cute- I swear if you sewed up the back I would wear them as a dress for summer! Their website has loads of other versions and products (like matching pot holders!) And they carry all kinds of other lovely products including my new favorite "Smart Women" line (I want every product they make). So, come on ladies....as official members of The Glamorous Life Association - it is time to get your apron on!