Friday

Come visit the Kid Bar...

video

Movie was made with cousins in my sister-in-law's basement. Because I can not just do nothing on vacation! I am thinking this is probably pretty inappropriate to have kids be mocking a BAR...but we thought it was pretty darn funny...let me know what you think!

Wednesday

Smile while you sip...

Road trip back to Chicago from..cheesy, lovely, silly and YES glamorous Wisconsin....we stopped at the World's Largest (big trend around these parts folks) Culvers. I had never been to a Culvers (none in Calif.) It is a fast food kinda place but with a bigger menu. Totally fresh (In and Out-ish)..but the best part? The cups have these funny sayings...so naturally I photo'd (not the best photo)for all of you to share. I just love a business that makes an effort to be funny. I love places that embrace the comedy of life. Yeah- that's right people I AM the comedy hunter......it says "It takes 22 muscles to smile. And 36 to sip a soda. So smile while you drink this-you'll get one heck of a workout." For the record- I smiled while I sipped and I still have my blogger butt...hey maybe I should have had the DIET coke instead of the Rootbeer.

Tuesday

Say Cheese! You are in Wisconsin!

A typical day being a tourist in Wisconsin Dells.
  • Saw an Amish farmer with his horse and plough working the farm.
  • Tried to talk Jack out of Moccasin purchase- it didn't work....
  • Learned how cheese was made after travelling thru gorgeous farm country.
  • Drank a wonderful grape soda I have never heard of...bottle said made in Mine-SODA....get it? Jack thought it was hysterical....
  • Counted 11 roadkill on the country road.
  • Visited a historical group of log cabins. Explained the Out-House concept to kids...
  • Toured the bizarre tourist trap "The upside down White House"
  • Took kids to a haunted house- and they walked back out after first room.
  • Took kids to a place called the "Looney Bin" for a tour. Considered checking myself in...
  • Went to a Deer petting farm- and saw rabbits feet, rabbit pelts and more stuffed dead animals (including deer!) for sale.
  • Took photos of some amazing old-school motels
  • Bought gas for under $4!
  • Had lunch at a Caribbean themed restaurant- which was confusing for my brain. Until I used the ladies room where I saw a dead animal mounted over the door- and I was immediately reminded I was IN WISCONSIN and NOT the Caribbean.
  • Swam again in the world's largest waterpark- only lost kids 6 times-less than yesterday.
  • Went to a dinner theater production of Footloose, where during intermission a family came up to us and asked if my Jack was THE Jack from the magic show the night before. After they walked away- Jack says "Seems I have quite the fan base in the Dells!".
  • Got laughter induced asthma from Jack's comment....
  • Sang all the songs from Footloose in the car home with the kids- and totally relived my college Musical Theater days....is this regret I feel?
  • Told Tucker he should not sleep in his bathing suit (wants to be prepared for tomorrow)....I am pretty sure he got in his bed with it on- and I am too tired to check.
Another.... Great day for me. Wish you were all here to share...meanwhile here are a million photos. You can match them up to the list above! Tomorrow we road trip it back to Chicago....and we are back home to California on the 21st. Yeah- I am a jet setter people....I TOLD you my life was glamorous didn't I?

This confuses me.

The year: 1971.

The plan: slumber party

Apparently the kids were sent to sleep in some sort of bizarre storage pantry with crates for shelves full of fruit and bags of coffee (I hope it is coffee). Most disturbing? The body-less Ragady Ann head on the top crate. After layering the floor with a sea of patterns, a popcorn machine with insanely large popcorn kernels was placed on the floor for nurishment. Thirsty? Take a sip of mystery beverage out of the flower pot we provided kids! Do I even need to mention the egg on the wall? Do I? Sleep well kiddies.....sleep well.

Monday

Day 2: Wisconsin Dells...vacation?

Day two- Wisconsin Dells...pseudo vacation. Today I experienced the most bizarre and wonderful thing Wisconsin Dells has to offer; The Duck boats. The Duck boats were created for WWII and used as land AND sea vehicles (um, yeah a BOAT). Then some smart guy in the 50's bought up all the left over ones and opened up shop here in the Dells....the car/boat driver/captain was hysterical and is sure to move on to bigger and better jobs (think Jungle Cruise comedy)...and the river was gorgeous. Sadly, the man-made lake that used to be is now gone due to bad rains last week. (the entire lake emptied back into the river when a man-made dam of sorts gave way). Four homes were lost as well. And tons more went from lakefront property to mud-crater front property over night. I took video of our amphibious decent into the water....I can not explain how darn fun this was. These are real cars too- I mean this BOAT picked us up at our hotel! Do you know the comedy of driving down the road in a BOAT? I was giddy with photo possibilities!

video

Oh lots more happened today- including the Rick Wilcox magic show in which Jack was asked to go on stage. He did so much and was so funny...people asked to take pictures with Jack after the show! Oh he was loving it big time! And we ate at a place called 'Moosejaw" where I was greated by MORE dead animals all over the place...but a killer chicken soup. Oh and paper antlers for all of us to wear....but I am having fun...especially since the idea of 'dressed up' seems to be 'puttin on my good flip flops'....this place takes casual to a whole new level folks!

Are you freaking kidding me?

What are you looking at? This is a piece of an wrist-band given to all the students at a private OC Lutheran High School before a school dance. As it was explained to me...everyone gets one and if a teacher sees you 'freaking' they cut it off your wrist. If a teacher sees you dancing inappropriately again-and you have no band to cut off...you must leave the dance. Effective I suppose...but is pretty freaking funny to me.

Sunday

See what I learned at the end of the interview....

video

Please ignore my appearance in the video. I had just completed a road trip from Chicago to Wisconson and then spent the rest of the day in the "world's largest" waterpark- all while being watched by dead animals. It is all explained in the video...I think....

Are you funnier than a 4th grader?

During my vacation of sorts- and since Internet access is limited for me here- I thought I would post the script from my son's 4th grade Talent Show. He has done a stand-up comedy routine since Kindergarten (yes Kindergarten! That is him then in the photo)...but this year he got spooked and just didn't want to go thru with it- which I totally understood......But I was just re-reading his joke script and thought you guys would get a kick out of it....
Good evening, my name is Jack and I am in the 4th grade…and I have been giving some thought to what I want to be when I grow up…. I think I might have a promising career in stand up comedy since my teachers keep telling me "that’s enough funny boy- now sit down!"
Actually adults say all kinds of funny things like that…my mom will even ask things- that I am pretty sure she doesn’t even want me to answer..like she says: "How many times do I have to tell you???" ……“ah- lets see..about…37 times mom’ yeah that would go over well! Or the classic-
"DO you want to be punished?"... ..OK what kid in their right mind is going to answer that? And then there’s "Who do you think is going to clean that up?" …….ONCE….. just ONCE I said "um, you? Isn’t that your job?"……………………………………yeah-I am STILL grounded and that was over a year ago! But in general being a kid is great. Pretty straight forward job....all I have to do is-
  • Go to school, go to bed, clean my room, clean my hamster cage, brush my hair, brush my teeth, ………Ah-DON’T brush the hamster (learned that the hard way!) Let’s see what else is there…..
  • Don’t do drugs, Don’t talk to strangers, …………DON’T see if eggs, marshmallows or moms cell phone will explode in the microwave.
  • Wear a jacket, wear a helmet,………….Oh-don’t wear a t-shirt that says 'old people suck' while visiting your grandparents in the retirement home.
  • I have to remember to Say please, Say thank you, say 'you don’t need to go to gym mom- you look great!' at least once a week.
  • I can’t HIT my brother, can’t BUG my brother, can’t even LOOK at my brother, …..but somehow I have to still LOVE my brother. And the one I struggle with the most: be smart…… but don’t be a smart alec!

Thank you, thank you I will be here all week.....until summer that is!