While doing some internal digging about the whole point of my blog, the point of my career I no longer participate in and the point to my existence in general (beyond being the laundress and chauffeur at Villa Massura) I began to really let myself fantasize about my life- as if I were the one writing it script. Get your mind out of the gutter- not THOSE kind of fantasies! These kind….
* Fantasy #1: I get a book deal for my ADtalk series. This will include a huge signing bonus which will allow me to spend 8 guilt free hours a day to locate vintage ads and write funny copy for them. The book will be a huge success and it will require a re-printing almost immediately. I will be asked to do another. Months later I will be invited to a fabulous cocktail party in Hollywood hills and I will notice MY book on their coffee table. Someone else will notice too- and they will ask me to sign it.
* Fantasy #2: I will be asked to write for a sitcom. This fantasy involves meeting Tina Fey and we have martini’s over lunch and laugh and laugh like old friends. She borrows my sweater, I borrow her red heels- and we hit the town arm in arm that night. The next morning we see each other at the TV studio and we just look at each other and start to giggle…..then we sit down and write the funniest script ever written. We win an Emmy for it.
* Fantasy #3: I am asked interview and photograph Carol Burnett, Steve Martin and Bill Murray. I decide to do all in a single day. I make my way to each of their lovely homes in Beverly Hills, Belaire and Hancock Park. They each greet me with smiles and give the most honest and revealing interviews of their lifetime. Each tells me that I am a very funny person. The photographs are classic and expose their vulnerabilities. Magazines are clamoring for usage rights. Steve sends me a hand written note to express his gratitude and offers an open invitation to his home- because he found me ‘intriguing and bright’.
* Fantasy #4: For no explicable reason I begin to lose weight. The pounds begin falling off of me, although I have not changed my eating habits nor increased my exercise. Weekly I need to purchase clothing in a smaller size just to have something to wear that won’t ‘fall off’ of me. I purchase belts to help hold my pants up. I tuck all my shirts in- because I can. As I am thinning my freckles begin to fade on my porcelain smooth skin, and my hair seems to have a revitalized bounce and shine. As I approach a Size 4 my weight tapers off and I remain this size until the day I die when I am 98 years young. I am buried in a Chanel suit my husband purchased for me prior to our 20th wedding anniversary trip to Paris. It still fits. And of course it still looks great. After all it’s a Chanel silly.
Have you allowed yourself to have a fantasy today? Really? Darling tell me all about it....