Friendship is not a skill I posses naturally. I have had to work to understand the concept and purpose of friendship. Here is a little bit about that journey….
As a young child I would study those ‘best friends’ on the playground to see how they interacted and why they chose each other. How is it that Sally and Lorie are BFF's? Why? It was a great mystery to me. Nevertheless-I drudged on thru my adolescence working at making and more importantly KEEPING friends. I had to learn the importance of being honest and loyal the hard way. And I discovered early on- people like to be friends with someone who is upbeat and can make them laugh. So I collected friends like a ferocious hunter. I wasn't picky in the least- I was looking for a good audience and someone to hang out with at lunch and the occasional weekend party. For all intensive purposes- I was well liked and just on the fringes of being called ‘popular’ (so hard to determine your true status in these matters). I wanted to be liked by everyone. I was a cross-pollinator; being involved in drama, dance, art, college prep classes and cheerleading. I had friends in the goth group, the punk group, the Asian honors kids, the jocks and the band geeks. I seemed to have friends everywhere I turned. Or at least I KNEW tons of people- whether they earned the bonefied friend status is not certain.
Not until my adulthood did I realize the value in QUALITY over quantity. And it was a welcome relief. To finally be able to let go of the ever present anxiety of ‘not being liked’. Who cares if someone I met didn't like me?…who cares! I would say with reckless abandon....and now I can say that I have just a few really good friends. Friends who totally ‘get me’, and still like me. I take none of them for granted- because now I do understand the point of having friends. They take this journey with me..validating that my life experiences are actually happening. They share in my frustrations, my joys and my triumphs. They share my life and I share in theirs. Recently- for reasons I can not explain I have had the opportunity to meet several new people with real ‘friend potential’ (you know who you are!)…..and I am simply thrilled about this. I will never get over the fact that someone WANTS to spend time with me…I am honored everytime. So I may not be an expert at this friend thing, but I think I might be getting better.
Photo note: Digital Photo-Composition "Friends" 2007 by Marcy Massura. Go ahead and use- as long as you give me a little credit! Thanks....
7 comments:
Marcy,
This is was sweet post and I think a lot of people will read it and know exactly what you are talking about.
You are a warm, funny, giving and smart person. Anyone would be lucky to call you friend--I know I am!
PS I posted something about YOU yesterday on my blog...freaky...
WOW. Good post!
"They take this journey with me..validating that my life experiences are actually happening."
Poetry.
(And a resounding AMEN from the front row.)
If we weren't on opposite coasts, I'd consider you serious friendship material!!! Bloggy world will have to do....
Unless we meet up in Dallas....
Marcy, I love you! i think i could have written that post myself. i am so happy you blog so i can get my fix of you daily...its not as good as you living close by but it sure helps!
Hey M - what a beautiful post!!
Cool and I can so relate to your bit about taking the journey with you. For me, growing up at school I wasn't popular, wasn't a geek but I was somewhere in the middle, I longed to be popular though and never was but I can happily say now some 20 years later that I'm content with who I've become through time because of the friends I did make...
oh, we could sooo be friends. you get me ;)
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